As a learner on a journey (I like to call myself this) I have contemplated many things over the last few years. Such as the question, the name of this blog.
I have listened to many speakers from different backgrounds, fields of experience, or professions. It’s taught me a lot. It’s open my view. It’s expanded my insights. I have had many days where I sat with myself to ask myself some really deep questions about who I am as an individual. Over time I began to see something unfold before me.
All that I thought was mine, really mine- was not even mine.
Most of what I believed came from other people. It wasn’t even mine. When I came to this realization, I began to examine my thoughts when they came up. Not all of them, but most. We never question (enough) our thoughts, our beliefs and where they originated from. I now believe that most (if not all) of what we think and believe is a result of external sources such as our parents, our peers, our teachers, our communities, colleagues, bosses, and people of faith that we trust.
It is their ideas, their opinions, their beliefs, and thoughts.
But why do we do that? Why do we adopt other people’s thoughts and make them our own? In the beginning I think we do it because we are trying to gain an identity. We are shaping who we think we should be. We mimic what we see and hear because it would be odd not to. Or is that true? Hmmm…we’ll think about it.
Somewhere in here, I think we get lost very early on. And we rarely question, if at all, if we are really being authentic? I know that I was in my late thirties before I really began to ponder these types of things.
Acceptance is a big thing in society. And we all want to feel accepted. So we mold ourselves into whatever shape we think will please others. We get really good at doing this in real life. It becomes our mask. A cloak we wear to shield who we really are. I remember sitting with a family member and telling them, “I feel fake, I don’t feel real.” And I didn’t. To my surprise they reciprocated my feelings by stating they knew how I felt.
I was dying to live real. I was dying to live like who I really was.
Does that sound strange?
Now, I find it strange to live a life where someone else is pulling the strings, so to speak. You know because we have many faces (masks) that we wear and we change them every time we interact with different people. We can go through a day switching masks at least three times or more. Our interactions with young and old differ and change. It even changes from different sexes and how we behave between the two.
So, what did I do?
I first had to organize me. And so I began to meditate. I found a Deepak Chopra meditation ( a great teacher) and I started. Listening to Deepak was very comforting and relaxing so it was easy to follow. Meditation is and has been like a godsend. It’s been five years since I began and I do not have any regrets.
I found that meditation calmed me enough to control what and how I thought. It was really amazing. And I say this because my mind was so busy, every day. Just thoughts, thoughts, thoughts. It was rather annoying now that I think of it. Today I am not consumed by thoughts, I can go minutes without any thoughts at all. And that is so amazing. To just observe and not think at all. It’s a blessing.
I kept on listening to teachers such as Deepak, Allan Watts, Greg Braden, Abraham Hicks, Bashar aka Daryl Anka, Drunvilo Melchizedek, Krishnamurti, David Wilcox, and Sadghuru to name a few.
They were insights. I chose the ones who resonated with my higher self by a vibration within me. If the vibration matched, the beliefs began to connect.
Once a connection was made, it led to another teacher and then other and it kept on going like this until the list of names above became what it is.
One of the greatest things that happened (and I think it was there but…) was that I began to understand what I liked and what I didn’t like. You see, I think most of us like things for the sake of others so our likes are not authentic. We like things or ideas to be accepted by others.
I began to rely on my vibrations more and more. I used my vibrations in all my interactions and meetings of people. So what was happening to me was that I started to trust my vibration, I started to trust “me.” The more I studied, the more pieces of myself I began to find. It was like a miracle, yet I know now, that it was always there. I knew it. I just had to wake up to it.
But this is what I did. What you do may be something totally different (and probably is.) I have a great amount of respect for all those whose voices reach out to others in a quest to find out “what it means to be more of who you really are.” I am truly humbled by their work. Today, I realize so much more. And I am truly grateful.
I believe firmly that anyone…I mean anyone who is truly on a search to find out who they are- will find it. I have no doubt. None whatsoever.
The only way you will not find who you are is by willingly hanging on to who you were told to be. Letting go is okay. Letting go is liberating. It’s about survival- yours!
You know trust is a fragile thing and many of us have had this very thing broken at a young age. Somewhere on the path our trust is compromised and life becomes “what I see or hear is the truth.” And there was no one to tell us that that is a lie. Trust is crucial in forming new thoughts because you have to go on pure instinct, and many of us don’t know how to do this. We walk through life not even trusting our own self. Isn’t that sad? We doubt many things.
Am I good enough? Am I strong enough? Am I worthy enough? Do I deserve this?
But everything is doable. Luckily. We don’t have to stay where we “are.” We have a choice- all the time. Every second of the day we have a choice. Every millisecond of the day we have a choice. You just have to want it bad enough that you will sit through the discomfort for a little while to get to where you really want to be. And that goes for anything you want in life.
Getting to know who you are does take time, I’m not saying that it won’t be challenging. It will be challenging. But the rewards, oh the rewards are far more better than what any challenge can do to you.
If I would’ve known what I know (feel) now, I would have done/started it a lot sooner. But I am where I am as a result of what I thought up to now. And that is great. I have no regrets.
Action leads to appreciation which walks the road to self worth without a care about what is being said anywhere.
There will always be naysayers, critics, and non believers but you don’t have to be one of them. You can decide not to be and be the one who says I am going to do this no matter what it takes.
So take your beliefs, read them out loud and ask yourself….are these really yours? Do they resonate with you? If not…get rid of them. And replace them with something else that is more you.
Take control. Take control of what happens to you from here on in.
I am a firm believer that in the end (whether it’s a day or the end of your life) you will have to look back and really answer how it went. And you’ll know…sleepless nights are always indicators of something.
I also believe that anything you are seeking is also seeking you.
Vibrations are happening all the time, every where. Resonance is always resonating. We are emitting frequencies all day long and we are attracting (like magnets) the same vibrations, the same resonance, and frequency as us- to us. Say that again.
We are emitting frequencies all day long and we are attracting the same vibrations, the same resonance, and frequency as us- to us.
So you won’t meet people who don’t match you, it just won’t happen. So don’t worry, everyone who is in your life is there for a reason. You just need to be honest with yourself and examine who you are and start to trust your answers. If you want to change your answers…you can change them at any time. And that is a thing of beauty.
Thanks for joining me, thanks for reading.