A different kind of journey

You know I’m the type of person who always seeks new things. I like being out there and discovering life. I never know what is going to unfold? It’s amazing. And sometimes it can be a little scary, especially if it something I have never done in my life. But luckily, I have had some amazing first time experiences during my time thus far. And I am again on a journey in where I have no idea where I will end up? And this journey started out as an on again, off again ride. I was on the ride then I’d get off because of something that I wasn’t impressed with. Then I’d change my mind again so I’d jump back on. The project that I got involved included my husband. Now I know you are saying, “what is she talking about?” This is a man who I’ve been with for twenty-six years. And what he did about five years ago was he began a memoir of his life. Now, I had no idea what would come of it. At the time, I told him that maybe it was a way that he could heal the scars of his past. You see, my husband had a very traumatic childhood. If you know any of the history of Canada, you would know about the residential schools that existed at one time. My husband was a student for five years. So it’s not a pretty story. It’s not to say that the end of the story is ugly too. The book ends the story very nicely. You see a story unfold before you. I know because I helped with my husband’s edit. He had just completed his third edit of the book when he became weary. And it was only because we had someone looking at the book in its rough draft. We had no idea of where she was at? Or if she even read any of it? So, one day in April of this year, I said it! I will do your last and final edit. My husband looked at me unsure. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust me. He just thought I was reacting on a whim. Well, I had no idea at this point as to what I had just gotten myself into. It wasn’t until two weeks later. The job had gotten tough and I had hit a road block. I thought, “maybe I shouldn’t be doing this?” I thought, maybe I was too close to the subject and that I was not the right person to be doing this. But it was too late. My husband stood there and re-talked me into it. So, I was honest and told him I need to take a break. The story had reached a point where I knew the pain that was being told in the story. It was all the feelings and emotions that he wrote out on paper that gripped me like vice grip. I didn’t know if I could continue. So, what I did next was do the thing that I relied on for support. I took my sage and my smudge bowl, along with my tobacco, sweetgrass and cedar and I lit it. I sat there praying and asking for help. I expressed my fears, my worries, and my doubts. I cried silently, alone. But what would happen the next day, I woke up with a renewed sense of motivation. Suddenly, the things I was stuck on flowed out onto the screen in front of me so easily and effortlessly. I completed nearly twenty pages. I was so happy! But with a story such as this, you need breaks I found out. At least, I did. So from that point, I’d take breaks. They were sometimes one day or two days breaks. But I needed a breather every so often to keep writing. And I was glad that it was working. But the big hiccup was when I took a whole two week break to leave for Toronto to visit family. And when I returned on July 5, I was ready. I now had an even stronger drive to complete the manuscript. What I never anticipated at all was how I’d feel when I was done. And that day was July 16, 2014. I was so overwhelmed by the emotions that I sat and cried, again. Coincidentally, it was about the fourth time I did cry during this journey. But it was as if my whole life was wrapped up into one moment, and it was this very day. I have never had an experience such as this in my life. And it felt so good, so right, so perfectly designed. It was like this day was always meant to happen. I don’t know any other way of explaining it. I literally saw my life flash before me in a matter of seconds. And it all made sense. Does that sound weird? Okay, I’m going to stop writing now before someone thinks I’m crazy, lol. But I just had to share it. And I hope somewhere down the road that my husband agrees to allow me to post an excerpt from his book. That would be cool. Anyway, I am off on a whole new journey again. I still don’t know what I will see or hear? But I’m thinking it’s going to be one heck of a ride. Thanks for reading. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s