Compromise?

You ever hear a friend tell you their complaints about their lover, spouse, or partner?  Or maybe, it was yourself.  I see this a lot and this was once me.  And one of the things that I concluded was that in relationships, we compromise.  But this compromise is not with the right person.  And that is because we are compromising ourselves.  We compromise our values, our needs, our beliefs, which is our very core being.  It is who makes us who we are.  But we introduce another person (like a lover/boy/girlfriend) into the equation; and POOF! There’s goes our self.  That self that is filled with ideas, notions, beliefs, values, virtues, and a certain amount of esteem.  Suddenly all those things are no where to be found.  It happens.  Let’s call it the ga-ga factor; a stage where you can’t speak any words that make any sense.  People in this stage are constantly asking their friends, “what should I do?”  When secretly they have the real answer to what it is they should do but they do not listen to it.  Whether it’s because it means we’d have to be accountable for any actions we take after the fact or we just don’t want to look foolish for doing what we thought.  But whatever the case something always happens.  But the compromise part that we do with ourselves at the beginning is where we go wrong.  If we know who we are going into a relationship, we shouldn’t have to compromise that much.  Or we should at least compromise that part of ourselves we’d like to change.  Maybe it’s to challenge our level of courage.  Anything we compromise about ourselves should be something we are willing to part with.  Because when we start parting with things we like about ourselves, we become people we don’t even recognize.  This is when we become some one who is ugly to us.  We have to be careful in relationships with people because it brings a different element to our psyche and delicacy should be practised.  We thread fine lines.  And it’s tough.  Because we’re not all wired the same.  But the one thing that is recommended in any relationship is that we know who WE ARE.  What we stand for, what we tolerate, what we love, what we dream of, what irritates us, what we find sickening, and the list goes on.  Relationships are not about the other person, they are about both people. And a compromise between both people is not a bad way to start any relationship.  If there’s always a give and take stance between people we can get ahead, if not, then we struggle.  This is what I’ve found to work in my forty some years of life. I hope you’ve enjoyed my blog today. Thanks for reading.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s